August 6th, 2024
I somehow find it easy to forget that my family life sucks too. Like they're an afterthought to my list of problems rather than the source of most of them. My sister and her boyfriend are going camping or something and before they left I overheard her say something like "He's the only one who uses this bathroom, he deserves it." It doesn't look messier than usual so I have no idea what either of them did like. That really sucks. This all just fucking sucks. Me being alone doesn't exist in a vacuum this was malicious intent not ignorance that got me here. Thoughts of killing myself feel more like floating along peacefully compared to the shit I deal with when I actually want to live. Maybe I'll just die. If it's not myself it'll be COVID if it's not that it'll be homelessness if it's not that it'll be a hatecrime if it's not that it'll be a cop. I'm so hungry. My parents are so happy they have smaller appetites since doing keto diet shit. Probably think food is acceptable to cut down on when saving up for a house. If they don't die before they get there, I hope it feels so fucking empty. Soulless fucks. Fuck the world.