September 17th, 2024
I certainly like taking antidepressants more than I dislike taking them. I was right the first time, the effects are positive now.
Unrelated to that, there was something I let myself fail at for the first time, because having fun was more important than being inexperienced. Or, maybe taking the antidepressants did have a part in feeling okay about it.
Um it fucking sucks that Cohost is shutting down. That place was great for following nsfw artists. I've also been trying to enjoy masturbating more, like by showing up with intention (I want this to be pleasurable, not to pass time).
I wouldn't say things are good, maybe just one of the many internal barriers I had is gone now, and maybe I can get to a point where facing the external barriers don't seem so scary.
I've been wondering recently if I'll reach a point where I feel neutral about my childhood best friend. Regardless of how I sort my feelings on what happened to me, how do I live the rest of my life without getting closure?